Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
8-10Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.
from an i will a week or so ago, listing at least 5 things daily i am grateful for this morning :
1. that You started it, won't quit, will finish
2. that death is not 'it'
3. visions of Hope
4. the gift of Faith
5. all because of Jesus ....Love
simple this morning, please Abba help me to keep it so.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Numbers 21-23; Mark 6-7
Mark 6: 1-2 He left there and returned to his hometown. His disciples came along. On the Sabbath, he gave a lecture in the meeting place. He made a real hit, impressing everyone. "We had no idea he was this good!" they said. "How did he get so wise all of a sudden, get such ability?"
Broken and tainted......old and far behind.......selfish and self centered.....having fallen and stubbornly refused to get up to falling and being lifted up......uncoachable and rude.......gloriously drenched w/Your Grace and Your equipment.........Yikes
3But in the next breath they were cutting him down: "He's just a carpenter—Mary's boy. We've known him since he was a kid. We know his brothers, James, Justus, Jude, and Simon, and his sisters. Who does he think he is?" They tripped over what little they knew about him and fell, sprawling. And they never got any further.
Growing up in the Catholic church I took what they fed me. I always felt like questions weren't invited, I know now that memory is tainted w/my own perspective. I didn't get far on the journey there. I was obedient to rite and rituals w/out having my heart or brain engaged. I am so grateful that in all that, after all that You have shown me more and more how to move. In 'accepting' grace I fall but it seems every time You help me up, I after falling face down and accepting w/out excuses the forgiveness and grace that is always there I go further, deeper into finding this relationship w/You, Your Son, Your Spirit. That all sounds so weird.......falling 'face down' and being able to keep moving....
Broken and tainted......old and far behind.......selfish and self centered.....having fallen and stubbornly refused to get up to falling and being lifted up......uncoachable and rude.......gloriously drenched w/Your Grace and Your equipment.........Yikes
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Numbers 19&20; Psalm 28; Mark 5
2 Now there was no water for the community, and the people gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron. 3 They quarreled with Moses and said, “If only we had died when our brothers fell dead before the LORD! 4 Why did you bring the LORD’s community into this wilderness, that we and our livestock should die here? 5 Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to this terrible place? It has no grain or figs, grapevines or pomegranates. And there is no water to drink!”
6 Moses and Aaron went from the assembly to the entrance to the tent of meeting and fell facedown, and the glory of the LORD appeared to them. 7 The LORD said to Moses, 8 “Take the staff, and you and your brother Aaron gather the assembly together. Speak to that rock before their eyes and it will pour out its water. You will bring water out of the rock for the community so they and their livestock can drink.”
9 So Moses took the staff from the LORD’s presence, just as he commanded him. 10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?” 11 Then Moses raised his arm and struck the rock twice with his staff. Water gushed out, and the community and their livestock drank.
12 But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them.”
speak to the rock vs. struck the rock
sounds so minor and yet 'because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in '......
Moses and Aaron face down
David arms lifted in praise
The healed woman falling face down at the feet of Jesus after being healed....the man w/the impure spirit falling to his knees in front of him
the posture of the elder brother, the contrast scary this morning. the idea of such weakness this morning.....weakness??? really??? that's what comes to mind for me this morning?? weakness??? showing me how far away I am all of a sudden? yesterday wanting to live drenched to today so self protective and dry.....how did i get here and more importantly when will i get back? the cycle is that short? what happened ? I can't repent of something i can't see.....my lack of trust, faith...what happened?? how did i get from soft and dependent to this place of hardness and fear??
what brand of self righteous crazy do i carry around with me that it is so easy to lose my need of and for You??
Yes I am sad at this realization but no closer to seeing how i got here? and when You show it to me i pray to like the woman healed, the crazy man in the cemetary.....like Moses when he hears he doesn't get to go into the land.....David when he sinned....not run away in shame....take it and learn, no take it and be healed......
Friday, February 25, 2011
Numbers 17 & 18; Psalm 29; Mark 4
High standards for sure and yet in our failure to meet them such grace......now how to not abuse that ?
I gotta see that which I avoided seeing....
I gotta hear all that I had listened to for years....
I gotta see that which I avoided seeing....
I gotta hear all that I had listened to for years....
'in Him, through Him and with Him'
in the seeing and hearing quit acting like it's no big deal and obey......
Mark 4: 10-12 When they were off by themselves, those who were close to him, along with the Twelve, asked about the stories. He told them, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can't see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people—
Mark 4: 10-12 When they were off by themselves, those who were close to him, along with the Twelve, asked about the stories. He told them, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom—you know how it works. But to those who can't see it yet, everything comes in stories, creating readiness, nudging them toward receptive insight. These are people—
Whose eyes are open but don't see a thing,
Whose ears are open but don't understand a word,
Who avoid making an about-face and getting forgiven."
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Numbers 14-16; Mark 3
I am reading alot right now and asking alot of questions. My journal is filled w/questions and observations and listening to Him.
I read alot of blogs, a diverse group it is too. Probably adding to the questions I ask.
I look always for places where I can possibly fit and ask my questions but there is a voice in my head and heart encouraging me to LISTEN more.
I wait more now than ever before, trusting more than ever before, Your timing.
Or at least that is what it 'feels' like right now.
I long for discussions and dialogues, groups of people who want to talk about Christ, wrestle w/You, Your Word. Getting them to see Your pursuit of them and their fingerprints on Your Word, to encourage them on a journey of absolute Epic dimensions or at least that is what it 'feels' like right now. To watch and encourage them to give this journey to others . To see and point out where Your gifts and passion to them are intersecting for Your Glory.
Reading about the Israelites this morning so deep in their own story they can't see Yours. Hearing Moses know that it IS all about Your Story. Jesus wanting all to know YOU. Jesus willing to die for it.
So just alot right now and in my own wrestling with You about $$ need to get in and make up an Excel spreadsheet so we can engage every decision, every dime with You and each other.
Wrestle w/Him....you ain't gonna win but dang what you win in the losing is everything.
I read alot of blogs, a diverse group it is too. Probably adding to the questions I ask.
I look always for places where I can possibly fit and ask my questions but there is a voice in my head and heart encouraging me to LISTEN more.
I wait more now than ever before, trusting more than ever before, Your timing.
Or at least that is what it 'feels' like right now.
I long for discussions and dialogues, groups of people who want to talk about Christ, wrestle w/You, Your Word. Getting them to see Your pursuit of them and their fingerprints on Your Word, to encourage them on a journey of absolute Epic dimensions or at least that is what it 'feels' like right now. To watch and encourage them to give this journey to others . To see and point out where Your gifts and passion to them are intersecting for Your Glory.
Reading about the Israelites this morning so deep in their own story they can't see Yours. Hearing Moses know that it IS all about Your Story. Jesus wanting all to know YOU. Jesus willing to die for it.
So just alot right now and in my own wrestling with You about $$ need to get in and make up an Excel spreadsheet so we can engage every decision, every dime with You and each other.
Wrestle w/Him....you ain't gonna win but dang what you win in the losing is everything.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Numbers 12 &13; Psalm 90; Mark 2
I keep thinking on the movie 'The Fighter', the Mom character mostly. A pivotal scene to me is when after years of manipulations and machinations she is confronted by her son and in that moment she crumbles. Perhaps the first moment where anyone has challenged her and spoken truth to her, instead of cowering or cowtowing to her, and she crumbles.
How in that one moment of 'truth' in her family she finally heard and it softened her or at least in that moment did. I remember my moment, when someone loved me enough to break me, to speak the truth that had the power to break me. And I want more. And I am afraid, always afraid.
Mark 2: 17 Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit."
I won't often admit I am unwell either physically or emotionally or spiritually. I never go to Dr's.
I am an elder brother and having judged others sickness for so long am just now seeing how very ill I am.
That's the thing about 'elders' we are far sicker than we look, or think we look. And in this realization I am sick at how pride plays out in my life.
I need You Jesus.
How in that one moment of 'truth' in her family she finally heard and it softened her or at least in that moment did. I remember my moment, when someone loved me enough to break me, to speak the truth that had the power to break me. And I want more. And I am afraid, always afraid.
Mark 2: 17 Jesus, overhearing, shot back, "Who needs a doctor: the healthy or the sick? I'm here inviting the sin-sick, not the spiritually-fit."
I won't often admit I am unwell either physically or emotionally or spiritually. I never go to Dr's.
I am an elder brother and having judged others sickness for so long am just now seeing how very ill I am.
That's the thing about 'elders' we are far sicker than we look, or think we look. And in this realization I am sick at how pride plays out in my life.
I need You Jesus.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Numbers 10 & 11; Psalm 27; Mark 1
Numbers 11: 4-6 The riffraff among the people had a craving and soon they had the People of Israel whining, "Why can't we have meat? We ate fish in Egypt—and got it free!—to say nothing of the cucumbers and melons, the leeks and onions and garlic. But nothing tastes good out here; all we get is manna, manna, manna."
The NKJ says 'mixed multitude'......the simplicity of receiving what You give and remaining grateful...is it really THAT simple???......
Psalm 27:
13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God.
simple versus easy
13-14 I'm sure now I'll see God's goodness
in the exuberant earth.
Stay with God!
Take heart. Don't quit.
I'll say it again:
Stay with God.
simple versus easy
Monday, February 21, 2011
numbers 8-9; acts 28
the cloud.......
even w/the visibility of Your presence, tho in these chapters there is obedience
i know coming is a loss of that
i used to wish we had that tangibility...visibility of You
now w/Your Spirit i know how blessed we are
how discouraged You got.....over and over we let You down
You never gave up on us
Jesus
Your Holy Spirit
how do we live Abba, Jesus and Holy Spirit with a dependence on You that is not only obedient to You but a blessing on our lives? listening to a young couple last nite discouraged in their dreaming....i wanted / waited to hear about You in their lives, that i didn't hear it doesn't mean anything does it? i can only live in my own dependence.....sharing the stories of a life spent pursuing that obedience, the moments of blessing in the midst of challenge...of joy in the midst of a sadness at seeing my own sin, joy at the grace You've given...
i no longer wish for the cloud now i pray for obedience and a life of dependence
in acts, again reminded it can never be about people's perception.....we are all skewed and see things through filters of our own experiences......i must read here daily and pray through and with doubts......
i desperately want the life change Paul experienced....to become softer and softer in the midst of trials because i KNOW who Jesus is........trusting that more and more and there becoming approachable and likable....
not the goal, I know but the word to me has connotations that i want......but perhaps in faith and trust..not trying to earn anything from anyone, in that softness and approachability more chances to talk about what You have done....but You know You have to give me the words.
even w/the visibility of Your presence, tho in these chapters there is obedience
i know coming is a loss of that
i used to wish we had that tangibility...visibility of You
now w/Your Spirit i know how blessed we are
how discouraged You got.....over and over we let You down
You never gave up on us
Jesus
Your Holy Spirit
how do we live Abba, Jesus and Holy Spirit with a dependence on You that is not only obedient to You but a blessing on our lives? listening to a young couple last nite discouraged in their dreaming....i wanted / waited to hear about You in their lives, that i didn't hear it doesn't mean anything does it? i can only live in my own dependence.....sharing the stories of a life spent pursuing that obedience, the moments of blessing in the midst of challenge...of joy in the midst of a sadness at seeing my own sin, joy at the grace You've given...
i no longer wish for the cloud now i pray for obedience and a life of dependence
in acts, again reminded it can never be about people's perception.....we are all skewed and see things through filters of our own experiences......i must read here daily and pray through and with doubts......
i desperately want the life change Paul experienced....to become softer and softer in the midst of trials because i KNOW who Jesus is........trusting that more and more and there becoming approachable and likable....
not the goal, I know but the word to me has connotations that i want......but perhaps in faith and trust..not trying to earn anything from anyone, in that softness and approachability more chances to talk about what You have done....but You know You have to give me the words.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Numbers 7; Psalm 23; Acts 27
in numbers this am a full daily rendering of all the sacrifices
12 days of the exact same offerings. all listed repetitively
in addition to a summary listing at the end
just wondering why the repetition??
love the simplicity, the familiarity of today's psalm
favorite of many
i like it due to wrestling with being a sheep, reading about shepherds when i got tired of readin about , taking on the characteristics of dirty stubborn sheep.
this verse especially rings true, because in that wrestling that truth changed...changes me
12 days of the exact same offerings. all listed repetitively
in addition to a summary listing at the end
just wondering why the repetition??
love the simplicity, the familiarity of today's psalm
favorite of many
i like it due to wrestling with being a sheep, reading about shepherds when i got tired of readin about , taking on the characteristics of dirty stubborn sheep.
this verse especially rings true, because in that wrestling that truth changed...changes me
6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
every day of my life.
I'm back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.
how can i live Abba....giving that truth to others?? helping them see that Your pursuit of them is the most amazing truth they can fall into...that spending the rest of their lives in Your Word discovering....unpacking that pursuit will take them on the greatest adventure of being loved and loving....
last nite reading Mark 5:1-20...Jesus getting rid of the demons in the pig herder, he wants to now go with Jesus.....Jesus says he needs to go back to his people and 'tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how he has had mercy on you.' vs.19
the message says, same verse...tell them your story -
i don't think i have one is the truth of it and if i do am clueless in how to tell it
i do trust that Your Spirit will give me the words WHEN i need them so my i will for today heading to iowa to check in on folks is to LISTEN for when You say NOW
last nite reading Mark 5:1-20...Jesus getting rid of the demons in the pig herder, he wants to now go with Jesus.....Jesus says he needs to go back to his people and 'tell them how much the Lord has done for you and how he has had mercy on you.' vs.19
the message says, same verse...tell them your story -
i don't think i have one is the truth of it and if i do am clueless in how to tell it
i do trust that Your Spirit will give me the words WHEN i need them so my i will for today heading to iowa to check in on folks is to LISTEN for when You say NOW
this morning read this...
and if you haven't read his book yet...do, it's also filled w/moments meeting Him.
and if you haven't read his book yet...do, it's also filled w/moments meeting Him.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Numbers 5 & 6; Psalm 22; Acts 26
Paul's experience made him an 'obedient believer' right away.....
this new journey with the 'i will's' is helping me, not sure obedience was ever my strong suit.......
didn't want to get in 'trouble' so i did everything in my power to be good.....but to listen to anyone long enough, be coached into being ????....i didn't, couldn't, wouldn't.....to busy w/my own agenda to listen to anyone elses.
never did sports, uncoachable........
just alot of regret in this...alot of shame both legitimate and illegitimate.......
so now, as i read Your word and listen for Your desire for me to live differently than i ever have and pray to BE responsively obedient....i wonder if it can happen??
so the story of Paul stubborn and prideful becoming humbler and softer and dependent...encourages me daily.......well some days i get annoyed at Your insistence at being in every part of my life and then that annoyance turns to humble joy...it Is all about You and that's a really good thing.....You won't, haven't given up on me and i will remember that .
this new journey with the 'i will's' is helping me, not sure obedience was ever my strong suit.......
didn't want to get in 'trouble' so i did everything in my power to be good.....but to listen to anyone long enough, be coached into being ????....i didn't, couldn't, wouldn't.....to busy w/my own agenda to listen to anyone elses.
never did sports, uncoachable........
just alot of regret in this...alot of shame both legitimate and illegitimate.......
so now, as i read Your word and listen for Your desire for me to live differently than i ever have and pray to BE responsively obedient....i wonder if it can happen??
so the story of Paul stubborn and prideful becoming humbler and softer and dependent...encourages me daily.......well some days i get annoyed at Your insistence at being in every part of my life and then that annoyance turns to humble joy...it Is all about You and that's a really good thing.....You won't, haven't given up on me and i will remember that .
Friday, February 18, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
waiting.............that tree ain't dead...His time.....
woke up this morning angry...
a life spent being 'good'.....
not really of course but it's the lie i have lived...
no risk
no risk
lev. 26: 14 BUT if you refuse to obey me....
consequences vs punishment
then a short 12 verses later ...'if they confess'....
it's what You want
it's what we need
we very often miss what it is we really NEED...
matt. 6:8...this is your Father you are dealing with and HE knows better than you what you need....
Your story will be told - lived out- and nothing can come against or overcome THAT....
do we all have a story or simply some?
i am committed either way.....just angry this morning at the lies i tell myself....so i wait, i ain't dead yet.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, February 14, 2011
Leviticus 23 & 24; Psalm 24; Acts 21
it's a sobering book, leviticus.
and then reading about paul, what his friends call stubbornness he justifies or maybe more explains with....vs. 13 The issue in Jerusalem is not what they do to me, whether arrest or murder, but what the Master Jesus does through my obedience.
so sure of what You are leading him into, where, that fear isn't a part of the argument.....
or maybe it's just being so sure of Your protection...
or that purpose is more important than result......
paul just had such a clear transformative experience it's You always You...
or just obedient
i pray for such obedience....but really how do i respond??
i will today Abba remember it is all You, about You.....in a day of fasting and prayer, grateful for Jesus crashing into my life...listen and be obedient...responsive to what i hear, with Your help.....i want to ....
please help this desire turn to something MORE.
and then reading about paul, what his friends call stubbornness he justifies or maybe more explains with....vs. 13 The issue in Jerusalem is not what they do to me, whether arrest or murder, but what the Master Jesus does through my obedience.
so sure of what You are leading him into, where, that fear isn't a part of the argument.....
or maybe it's just being so sure of Your protection...
or that purpose is more important than result......
paul just had such a clear transformative experience it's You always You...
or just obedient
i pray for such obedience....but really how do i respond??
i will today Abba remember it is all You, about You.....in a day of fasting and prayer, grateful for Jesus crashing into my life...listen and be obedient...responsive to what i hear, with Your help.....i want to ....
please help this desire turn to something MORE.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Leviticus 20-22 ; Acts 20
My God is HOLY and perfect, demanding perfection.....
disappointed and finding a way for us anyway, a way that sacrificed His Son..
the same then, now and always and forever....brokenhearted at my lack of and yet offering me salvation anyway....i mean who does that? offers grace in the midst of absolute disappointment, in cluelessness, stubbornness and foolish evil....we are responsible when we know and He waits for that knowing to break our will and hearts as it breaks His heart and then His grace staggers us into a freedom that we can't fully imagine and struggle to live in .....it's all inexplainably glorious and I want to spend the rest of my life learning how to live it and explain it for others to enjoy....to find out that the God of the universe has been in pursuit of them. when you discover, accept that nothing is ever the same.
and then reading in acts, i ain't no Paul....don't understand the magnitude of a life in such persecution...no that's not it, his utter commitment to whatever it is YOU had for him...it's a desire of my heart for sure and a hope that every minute here with You soaking in Your love letter when the time comes there will be something in me other than me...but this verse i want to say it, believe it.....acts 20:24... What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God....and then the real hope here it's may be about what I learn here and when the time comes Your Spirit...just hope acts 20: 32"Now I'm turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.
today is family fun day...valentine style to be fun and encouraging .....preparing us for lives of service to You, in a freedom we don't understand....
disappointed and finding a way for us anyway, a way that sacrificed His Son..
the same then, now and always and forever....brokenhearted at my lack of and yet offering me salvation anyway....i mean who does that? offers grace in the midst of absolute disappointment, in cluelessness, stubbornness and foolish evil....we are responsible when we know and He waits for that knowing to break our will and hearts as it breaks His heart and then His grace staggers us into a freedom that we can't fully imagine and struggle to live in .....it's all inexplainably glorious and I want to spend the rest of my life learning how to live it and explain it for others to enjoy....to find out that the God of the universe has been in pursuit of them. when you discover, accept that nothing is ever the same.
and then reading in acts, i ain't no Paul....don't understand the magnitude of a life in such persecution...no that's not it, his utter commitment to whatever it is YOU had for him...it's a desire of my heart for sure and a hope that every minute here with You soaking in Your love letter when the time comes there will be something in me other than me...but this verse i want to say it, believe it.....acts 20:24... What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God....and then the real hope here it's may be about what I learn here and when the time comes Your Spirit...just hope acts 20: 32"Now I'm turning you over to God, our marvelous God whose gracious Word can make you into what he wants you to be and give you everything you could possibly need in this community of holy friends.
today is family fun day...valentine style to be fun and encouraging .....preparing us for lives of service to You, in a freedom we don't understand....
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Leviticus 18&19; Psalm 13; Acts 19
it doesn't take much reading of the old testament to see how we have let You down... to see what plans You had for us, what standards You desired for us.... how far short we fell and continue to fall and how much grace You extend to us....I am God, your God..... while the reminder stings and embarrasses and even shames me, the abundance of that grace staggers me and relieves me...and the knowing of it......Your Grace says keep on comin, don't give up, get stuck in shame....
love the way E Peterson breaks it down, explains it in the message sometimes..Acts 13 :2 The first thing he said was, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed? Did you take God into your mind only, or did you also embrace him with your heart? Did he get inside you?"
wow, want to talk about this w/some of the women in my life. those that want to know what a relationship w/Christ is like. nothing new really, just a jumping off point for a discussion w/them.
now how to help them embrace You w/their hearts when those same hearts are scarred and armored up against anything that has the potential to hurt them....their perspective skewed and yet THEIRS.....how to help them get to know YOU...this amazing....just....powerful....sovereign....
forgiving....demanding.....unchanging.....mercy filled.....all knowing....
Father....Son....Spirit
i will Abba spend the rest of my days fully in this.....trusting Your Spirit to give me words when i need them and to love w/Jesus help and since You know me, You know how much of Your help I am gonna need. i will
love the way E Peterson breaks it down, explains it in the message sometimes..Acts 13 :2 The first thing he said was, "Did you receive the Holy Spirit when you believed? Did you take God into your mind only, or did you also embrace him with your heart? Did he get inside you?"
wow, want to talk about this w/some of the women in my life. those that want to know what a relationship w/Christ is like. nothing new really, just a jumping off point for a discussion w/them.
now how to help them embrace You w/their hearts when those same hearts are scarred and armored up against anything that has the potential to hurt them....their perspective skewed and yet THEIRS.....how to help them get to know YOU...this amazing....just....powerful....sovereign....
forgiving....demanding.....unchanging.....mercy filled.....all knowing....
Father....Son....Spirit
i will Abba spend the rest of my days fully in this.....trusting Your Spirit to give me words when i need them and to love w/Jesus help and since You know me, You know how much of Your help I am gonna need. i will
Friday, February 11, 2011
Leviticus 15-17;Acts 18
Acts 18: 23 After spending a considerable time with the Antioch Christians, Paul set off again for Galatia and Phrygia, retracing his old tracks, one town after another, putting fresh heart into the disciples.
this time in the mornings w/dan is so valuable to me and I think to dan. t-i-m-e spent in the quiet w/our coffee and our Bibles and then coming together and sharing our thoughts and it does...put fresh heart into me. and it's my desire, my dream to do that for and with others...and then there's more, another group even those w/wounds and scarring so deep...to help women who feel victimized by life realize that You are there, right there waiting for them to see, to know, to choose....it takes time tho right.... and some don't want to hear, can't hear those scars defining them...
"what? what is it you tell them?"
i try to ask them questions that will in the answering help them discover You, Your Son, Your Spirit working in their lives. I am drawn to the women who already know You..and try to remind them about all of it. and then my prayer is Abba, those you have gifted w/different gifts and experiences will be blessed to use them to bring more and more to Your kingdom...for all of us to 'bring fresh heart to Your disciples'....
and then there's this other part of me that wants to isolate and run away....
this time in the mornings w/dan is so valuable to me and I think to dan. t-i-m-e spent in the quiet w/our coffee and our Bibles and then coming together and sharing our thoughts and it does...put fresh heart into me. and it's my desire, my dream to do that for and with others...and then there's more, another group even those w/wounds and scarring so deep...to help women who feel victimized by life realize that You are there, right there waiting for them to see, to know, to choose....it takes time tho right.... and some don't want to hear, can't hear those scars defining them...
"what? what is it you tell them?"
i try to ask them questions that will in the answering help them discover You, Your Son, Your Spirit working in their lives. I am drawn to the women who already know You..and try to remind them about all of it. and then my prayer is Abba, those you have gifted w/different gifts and experiences will be blessed to use them to bring more and more to Your kingdom...for all of us to 'bring fresh heart to Your disciples'....
and then there's this other part of me that wants to isolate and run away....
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Leviticus 13-14; Acts 17
Acts 17: 24-29 "The God who made the world and everything in it, this Master of sky and land, doesn't live in custom-made shrines or need the human race to run errands for him, as if he couldn't take care of himself. He makes the creatures; the creatures don't make him. Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' Well, if we are the God-created, it doesn't make a lot of sense to think we could hire a sculptor to chisel a god out of stone for us, does it?
30-31"God overlooks it as long as you don't know any better—but that time is past. The unknown is now known, and he's calling for a radical life-change. He has set a day when the entire human race will be judged and everything set right. And he has already appointed the judge, confirming him before everyone by raising him from the dead."
radical life-change......is it that i don't know or that i won't??
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Leviticus 10-12; Acts 16
friends vs. mentoring
mentoring vs. mothering
why the word versus?
had an amazing breakfast w/a couple of gals this morning and wondering where being a follower of Christ gets in?
'feels' like i do this all the freakin time.....and then i remember that every decision is a spiritual decision so why wouldn't it, i/we are all fighting a battle.
and that i GET TO fight this battle w/so many is such an awesome privilege. human beings/me is as full of sin as i am YOU. is that true?
and then i read.....
in Leviticus 10 about the young men, sons of aaron who brought 'strange fire' to Your altar and were incinerated...?
scary
how much 'strange fire' do i bring to every conversation, Your Altar if everything is Spiritual?
and then in Acts Jesus Spirit STOPPING them......literally in their way stopping them, can i count on that??
so much i don't understand and that lack of understanding brings me more and more solidly to a dependence on You that maybe ......maybe makes me more 'fragrant' to You but not others?? I don't know Abba, i just know where You have me the people You have around me makes it a bit safer to find out and that safety or maybe it's freedom makes life more RISKY and exciting.
now......how do i live in that risk and excitement and freedom??
mentoring vs. mothering
why the word versus?
had an amazing breakfast w/a couple of gals this morning and wondering where being a follower of Christ gets in?
'feels' like i do this all the freakin time.....and then i remember that every decision is a spiritual decision so why wouldn't it, i/we are all fighting a battle.
and that i GET TO fight this battle w/so many is such an awesome privilege. human beings/me is as full of sin as i am YOU. is that true?
and then i read.....
in Leviticus 10 about the young men, sons of aaron who brought 'strange fire' to Your altar and were incinerated...?
scary
how much 'strange fire' do i bring to every conversation, Your Altar if everything is Spiritual?
and then in Acts Jesus Spirit STOPPING them......literally in their way stopping them, can i count on that??
so much i don't understand and that lack of understanding brings me more and more solidly to a dependence on You that maybe ......maybe makes me more 'fragrant' to You but not others?? I don't know Abba, i just know where You have me the people You have around me makes it a bit safer to find out and that safety or maybe it's freedom makes life more RISKY and exciting.
now......how do i live in that risk and excitement and freedom??
Monday, February 7, 2011
Leviticus 4-6 & Acts 14
Leviticus 4....there certainly is alot of blood needed for Absolution....
Leviticus 5.....guilt...and not the kind that you live with, the kind that takes you to your need, absolute NEED for You.
Leviticus 6...the heaviness of 'offerings'
You sure let up on us, in Christ we are saved and released from all this. Your Son became ALL OF IT to save us, sometimes the ridiculousness of it staggers me. I hope this day of fasting and prayer is like that....staggered by the immensity of YOUR GRACE all day long.
Acts 14: 21-22After proclaiming the Message in Derbe and establishing a strong core of disciples, they retraced their steps to Lystra, then Iconium, and then Antioch, putting muscle and sinew in the lives of the disciples, urging them to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit, making it clear to them that it wouldn't be easy: "Anyone signing up for the kingdom of God has to go through plenty of hard times."
Paul speaks from experience and from the side of persecuting the believers. It's a verse that really gives me pause, living a pretty unchallenged life. I have lost a closeness from my extended family born of them not wanting to talk about what they believe. It's hurt in the years and I take alot of the responsibility in being too pushy early and now I bear the guilt of quitting w/them...loving them but not ....wow BUT, that but indicates I am NOT loving them. My fears for my Dad, my inability to engage him to talk akbout You. So something for me to fast and pray about today....to love my Dad without a BUT and to talk to him before it's just too late....Abba You know how much help I need, how offensive I have been in the past...Please help me.
I will be praying for you today K Bob, for your wife Ann and Amy for you and your family as well THANK You for the privilege.
Leviticus 5.....guilt...and not the kind that you live with, the kind that takes you to your need, absolute NEED for You.
Leviticus 6...the heaviness of 'offerings'
You sure let up on us, in Christ we are saved and released from all this. Your Son became ALL OF IT to save us, sometimes the ridiculousness of it staggers me. I hope this day of fasting and prayer is like that....staggered by the immensity of YOUR GRACE all day long.
Acts 14: 21-22After proclaiming the Message in Derbe and establishing a strong core of disciples, they retraced their steps to Lystra, then Iconium, and then Antioch, putting muscle and sinew in the lives of the disciples, urging them to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit, making it clear to them that it wouldn't be easy: "Anyone signing up for the kingdom of God has to go through plenty of hard times."
Paul speaks from experience and from the side of persecuting the believers. It's a verse that really gives me pause, living a pretty unchallenged life. I have lost a closeness from my extended family born of them not wanting to talk about what they believe. It's hurt in the years and I take alot of the responsibility in being too pushy early and now I bear the guilt of quitting w/them...loving them but not ....wow BUT, that but indicates I am NOT loving them. My fears for my Dad, my inability to engage him to talk akbout You. So something for me to fast and pray about today....to love my Dad without a BUT and to talk to him before it's just too late....Abba You know how much help I need, how offensive I have been in the past...Please help me.
I will be praying for you today K Bob, for your wife Ann and Amy for you and your family as well THANK You for the privilege.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
exodus 39-40;psalm 15;acts 12
yesterday felt like a full day of sitting at the well.....not being able to escape what is inside me. so this quote this morning brings some comfort and obedience to stay there....having me see what You see is really inside me....
this story of Peter in Acts, his peace in prison. he'd betrayed Jesus and faced it, accepted forgiveness and love from Jesus...so in prison he slept. people prayed for him, the church prayed strenuously for him and in prison he had peace. i wonder if that is what is coming in my older years..that peace? knowing my healing comes from You, in accepting how really ill, evil...in need of forgiveness i am and accepting grace, living somehow in that realization drenched w/it...NEEDING desperately grace there's this peace...needing something you can only get in being sorry and not just sorry repentant...... trying to explain something i simply need to live in today...I will today listen and accept and be obedient to what i hear w/YOUR help please...
this story of Peter in Acts, his peace in prison. he'd betrayed Jesus and faced it, accepted forgiveness and love from Jesus...so in prison he slept. people prayed for him, the church prayed strenuously for him and in prison he had peace. i wonder if that is what is coming in my older years..that peace? knowing my healing comes from You, in accepting how really ill, evil...in need of forgiveness i am and accepting grace, living somehow in that realization drenched w/it...NEEDING desperately grace there's this peace...needing something you can only get in being sorry and not just sorry repentant...... trying to explain something i simply need to live in today...I will today listen and accept and be obedient to what i hear w/YOUR help please...
Friday, February 4, 2011
Psalm 19....OBEDIENCE and LOVE go TOGETHER
had a meeting last nite where i came away feeling kicked in the teeth, punched in the gut or heart if i am honest. all good stuff, hard to look at stuff.my i will then was to have a conversation, one i want to avoid......my i will this morning was to 'listen before i speak' ...so glad i listened.....because in meeting w/her this morning, talking and praying and tearing up... she got me again...a simple phrase...I heard her say....'love and obedience go together'......
i had read this Psalm already but w/a heart stinging and protective it didn't sink in, i wanted it to, i even thot maybe it had....it hadn't..... until we talked and then a conversation w/my daughter and there it was....an understanding, a brokenness that said I NEED You.....I desperately NEED YOU and in that desperation i got it.....
i had read this Psalm already but w/a heart stinging and protective it didn't sink in, i wanted it to, i even thot maybe it had....it hadn't..... until we talked and then a conversation w/my daughter and there it was....an understanding, a brokenness that said I NEED You.....I desperately NEED YOU and in that desperation i got it.....
The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together.
The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes.
God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree.
God’s Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You’ll like it better than strawberries in spring,
better than red, ripe strawberries. Ps19:7-10
Maybe if I get the obedience part I get this :) love struggling w/you TO this.
Love and OBEDIENCE go hand in hand....love you both (hubs and daughter)
The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road.
The life-maps of God are right,showing the way to joy.
The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes.
God’s reputation is twenty-four-carat gold,
with a lifetime guarantee.
The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree.
God’s Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds.
You’ll like it better than strawberries in spring,
better than red, ripe strawberries. Ps19:7-10
Maybe if I get the obedience part I get this :) love struggling w/you TO this.
Love and OBEDIENCE go hand in hand....love you both (hubs and daughter)
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Exodus 35&36; Acts 10
woke up in the nite praying.......not sure why his name was on my mind but went ahead and prayed, followed a prompt maybe. I remember when it first started happening, waking up w/You on my mind, a verse, a song. Waking up w/You on my mind was such an amazing change to my life and pray for that for others, and confidently encourage them with it CAN happen.
Acts 10:34-36Peter fairly exploded with his good news: "It's God's own truth, nothing could be plainer: God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you're from—if you want God and are ready to do as he says, the door is open. The Message he sent to the children of Israel—that through Jesus Christ everything is being put together again—well, he's doing it everywhere, among everyone.
Acts 10:34-36Peter fairly exploded with his good news: "It's God's own truth, nothing could be plainer: God plays no favorites! It makes no difference who you are or where you're from—if you want God and are ready to do as he says, the door is open. The Message he sent to the children of Israel—that through Jesus Christ everything is being put together again—well, he's doing it everywhere, among everyone.
37-38"You know the story of what happened in Judea. It began in Galilee after John preached a total life-change. Then Jesus arrived from Nazareth, anointed by God with the Holy Spirit, ready for action. He went through the country helping people and healing everyone who was beaten down by the Devil. He was able to do all this because God was with him.
39-43"And we saw it, saw it all, everything he did in the land of the Jews and in Jerusalem where they killed him, hung him from a cross. But in three days God had him up, alive, and out where he could be seen. Not everyone saw him—he wasn't put on public display. Witnesses had been carefully handpicked by God beforehand—us! We were the ones, there to eat and drink with him after he came back from the dead. He commissioned us to announce this in public, to bear solemn witness that he is in fact the One whom God destined as Judge of the living and dead. But we're not alone in this. Our witness that he is the means to forgiveness of sins is backed up by the witness of all the prophets."
44-46No sooner were these words out of Peter's mouth than the Holy Spirit came on the listeners. The believing Jews who had come with Peter couldn't believe it, couldn't believe that the gift of the Holy Spirit was poured out on "outsider" non-Jews, but there it was—they heard them speaking in tongues, heard them praising God.
no favorites.......I wonder how easy that is for others to believe? in talking to women, my own daughter one of them about what their husbands endure from people, while a verse like this gives me such hope..... but I have never suffered like their husbands have and pray for the truth of this to penetrate not only my heart but the hearts of all of us and that in confidence we would become more loving and responsively obedient Ex. 35:20..every one whose heart was roused, whose spirit was freely responsive..those kinds of hearts get things done, they collected enough voluntary offerings to build the sanctuary they were told to stop bringing offerings...that kind of heart can change things, that kind of obedience . I will today in wondering about that kind of heart look for opportunities to BE obedient.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Exdodus 33&34; Psalm 16; Acts 9
Moses, seeing the Glory of God, arguing w/You and living to tell about it. Living to make mistakes, to fail, to succeed, to follow You. Committed to following You and leading Your people to do the same. Not expecting it to be easy, begging You to not leave.
David, passionate and committed to even after failure to repentantly turn to You. Knew You so well that there was no alternative to repentance and accepting Your grace. Had a hard life in being pursued by Saul he too followed You and led others to the same.
Saul/Paul to have encountered You and been so radically changed. Lived the rest of his life committed to You. When I write YOU it's Abba, it's Jesus and it's Your Holy Spirit.....I live a safe life, going to write 'relatively' but the the truth is I have a home, and enough money and a family that loves me...my life is safe. I am in awe of You and committed.......learning a patience I hope that when trouble comes I will not flee.......I will KNOW in my head and in my heart who I follow and will follow wherever You lead and will lead whomever You place in my path to follow as well. I pray for obedient and soft, dependent, Spirit Led people to love others to this same conclusion and in our dependence we yield to Your will.....it's not supposed to be safe or easy but we will be protected.
David, passionate and committed to even after failure to repentantly turn to You. Knew You so well that there was no alternative to repentance and accepting Your grace. Had a hard life in being pursued by Saul he too followed You and led others to the same.
Saul/Paul to have encountered You and been so radically changed. Lived the rest of his life committed to You. When I write YOU it's Abba, it's Jesus and it's Your Holy Spirit.....I live a safe life, going to write 'relatively' but the the truth is I have a home, and enough money and a family that loves me...my life is safe. I am in awe of You and committed.......learning a patience I hope that when trouble comes I will not flee.......I will KNOW in my head and in my heart who I follow and will follow wherever You lead and will lead whomever You place in my path to follow as well. I pray for obedient and soft, dependent, Spirit Led people to love others to this same conclusion and in our dependence we yield to Your will.....it's not supposed to be safe or easy but we will be protected.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Exodus 30-32; Acts 8
Acts 8: 34-35 The eunuch said, "Tell me, who is the prophet talking about: himself or some other?" Philip grabbed his chance. Using this passage as his text, he preached Jesus to him.
preached Jesus.....
I point people to You, Abba but not sure I preach Jesus?
Dan and I in our morning conversations always talk about and end up awed through the reading at what Jesus did for us, but do I in the conversations of the day, look for opps to 'preach Jesus'??
What would that look like? Indicative of the whole of my journey and my lack of 'convictions' that I don't?
More and more our conversations of a morning are nothing but tears at what Jesus did, why doesn't that carry into my day??
What if I entered the day prayerfully, looking for moments for those conversations?
I am afraid I would become PREACHY, I have in the past w/much less experience w/the Word and now.....now all those fears have made me afraid of ruining even more relationships....so... what I continue to worship instead of You is what people think of me??
Not sure about that.....definitely a tendency I need to watch, always... be aware of BUT more and more I simply, truly do want others to KNOW You, Your Son, be led by, in their dependence on Christ, Your Spirit...so ' tell others what I did for THEM'.........and that would be preach Jesus.
So today I will.....approach this day, each conversation prayerfully expectant.
preached Jesus.....
I point people to You, Abba but not sure I preach Jesus?
Dan and I in our morning conversations always talk about and end up awed through the reading at what Jesus did for us, but do I in the conversations of the day, look for opps to 'preach Jesus'??
What would that look like? Indicative of the whole of my journey and my lack of 'convictions' that I don't?
More and more our conversations of a morning are nothing but tears at what Jesus did, why doesn't that carry into my day??
What if I entered the day prayerfully, looking for moments for those conversations?
I am afraid I would become PREACHY, I have in the past w/much less experience w/the Word and now.....now all those fears have made me afraid of ruining even more relationships....so... what I continue to worship instead of You is what people think of me??
Not sure about that.....definitely a tendency I need to watch, always... be aware of BUT more and more I simply, truly do want others to KNOW You, Your Son, be led by, in their dependence on Christ, Your Spirit...so ' tell others what I did for THEM'.........and that would be preach Jesus.
So today I will.....approach this day, each conversation prayerfully expectant.
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