Revelations 10-14

So many people in trials this season and most of the ones I know about, seeking to reveal You to those of us watching, not purposely......just because of where they are in You....inspiring and convicting and challenging. The power You give to us in trials....the joy in the midst of unbelievable tragedy....
is that power a choice for us?
Why do some grab hold and move and others freeze?

I don't honestly know what I would do in the moment....I think IF I looked to You I would.....
would I look to You?? And then you read Revelations...

Rev. 13: 9-10 Are you listening to this? They've made their bed; now they must lie in it. Anyone marked for prison goes straight to prison; anyone pulling a sword goes down by the sword. Meanwhile, God's holy people passionately and faithfully stand their ground.

passionately and faithfully stand their ground....I hope so Abba. That's why I stay connected here because I don't think I could or would without Your word in me daily....
so I use You??
I hope not, but in all honesty I'm not sure.
I can say I love You and yet I am not challenged or tried....
I don't know...so I read and pray and HOPE.....

I want desperately to give this away....this being........a knowing...a seeking to know You.....trusting that I am never disappointed here...convicted yes...alot but never disappointed......would I, will I passionately and faithfully stand my ground...?? In that passion and faith what will it look like? If it's You why do I care....how do I get out of Your way and love as You call?? maybe I am......but if I think that I stop...I know me, I can do it....I can't.....but You can right?? I don't want anyone missing out on You......I don't want anyone thinking they don't need Jesus, Your Spirit to become the people You desire us to be.....ahhh crap.....overthinking instead of moment by moment TRUSTING You....

Rev. 5-9

Revelations and end of the year....decade ponderings....

If it's true that you can't give away what you don't have...what am I giving away and along those same lines....You reproduce who you are?

I am looking back over the last 10 years....softer I hope and more focused. I don't know about what I am giving away. I know, when it was said to me I desperately wanted my children to know Jesus, to know God, to follow Christ and I went after....continue to pursue it...what is that showing my children and those in my circle of influence?

Another thing I keep 'hearing'.....don't judge and don't worry about who is judging you.....so these are my end of the year ponderings....hoping to go Primal in 2010
What about you, what are you pondering or hoping for in 2010?

Psalm 117; Psalm 119:81-176; 2 John 1; 3 John 1

The day after Christmas....
A beautiful day spent w/people I love...missing Dara and Juno....
So much joy and love
Rec'd a flock of chickens, a month of support for the soup kitchen and 5 pairs of shoes for the people of the Transkei in South Africa....the perfect gift and the letter accompanying, I will keep forever.

Ps. 117: ^1-2 Praise God, everybody! Applaud God, all people!
His love has taken over our lives;
God's faithful ways are eternal.
Hallelujah!

2010 all of us who believe following You wherever You lead. Thank You Abba for everything.

Primal by Mark Batterson

Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity
ISBN: 978-1-60142-131-9
*Book graciously provided by WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing.
Where to buy the book: Random House
Release Date: December 22, 2009


Merry Christmas I was to have this posted by the 22nd ....I didn't have it done and wanted to do full justice to is. You need this book....

2009
First ever trip to South Africa
8+years reading through the Bible (enewhope.org/bible)
Donald Miller A Million Miles in a Thousand Years
Primal By Mark Batterson

All the above set me in a perfect storm to read this book. Every serious Christ Follower needs to get their hands on it and wrestle through the challenges he presents.
Batterson uses the four components (heart, soul, mind, and strength) and breaks them down for you. Further, he encourages and helps you add them to your life using themes like compassion, wonder, curiousity, and power.

Each of the 4 parts of this small book was powerful and potentially life changing. Potentially, because it remains to be seen how serious we as a reader respond. His using the word 'omnirelevant' , as in the Bible being 'omnirelevant' to every person on the planet , gave me alot to think about and hopefully all of us.
My prayer is that Christians reading this book take the implied challenge of approaching Scripture as "the place where God bares His soul. And it's no Sunday school flannelgraph. It'll make you wince and cringe and blush. But it'll also make you marvel. Nothing speaks to the soul like Scripture.It's the way God reveals His wonders in written form. And like the wonders of creation waiting to be discovered, the Bible beckons us to explore." Part 2, Chap. 5 page 71-72

Go here and buy this book, 2010 let's go PRIMAL....

John 15-18

I am close to tears this morning, a mixture of joy and sadness.....
Joy in the season....
Sadness and joy in remembering South Africa....sadness in what happens, in feeling insufficient and helpless and joy in anticipating gathering support for Rufus and Almarie and in that support they be allowed to continue to impact the people of the Transkei....
Sadness in that it's different this year....personally different in good and difficult ways...
Daughter married and beginning her own traditions, first time in her 28 years we haven't shared a Christmas morning. I know I know how blessed I was to have the 28...no buts.
Best friend moving away, to a new life, home, job, relationship......no buts blessed to have enjoyed 20+ years of friendship.
In reading John this morning convicted and shamed and covered in Grace and forgiven...I so badly want to BE like Peter...no buts his failures are as lived out as his successes.

2010 a life of following and serving w/no buts...I am a servant of the most High God and Jesus prayed .....

16: 6-12 I spelled out your character in detail

To the men and women you gave me.

They were yours in the first place;

Then you gave them to me,

And they have now done what you said.

They know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt,

That everything you gave me is firsthand from you,

For the message you gave me, I gave them;

And they took it, and were convinced

That I came from you.

They believed that you sent me.

I pray for them. I'm not praying for the God-rejecting world

But for those you gave me,

For they are yours by right.

Everything mine is yours, and yours mine,

And my life is on display in them.

For I'm no longer going to be visible in the world;

They'll continue in the world While I return to you.

Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life

That you conferred as a gift through me,

So they can be one heart and mind As we are one heart and mind.

As long as I was with them, I guarded them

In the pursuit of the life you gave through me;

I even posted a night watch.

And not one of them got away,

Except for the rebel bent on destruction

(the exception that proved the rule of Scripture).

John 12 - 14

To live a better story in 2010....following, always following where You lead....following hubs as he seeks to follow You.....this whole being a sheep and resting in that confidence...makes following way more exciting, potentially riskier than I ever believed....

And the blessing we have in not ever doing it alone.....I am praying this morning for that yielding to His Spirit by all of us who believe...that we would know without that we are nothing...we can DO nothing apart from You in us and that with that Spirit we are capable of far more than we are on our own.....John 14:15-17"If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!

I was to have written a review by today for Mark Batterson's new book Primal...I haven't finished it yet and don't want to shortchange a reveiw...not that I know how to write a review in the first place. I can tell you this book is illiciting alot of emotion in me ... confirming some things I have been thinking about who God is and what He desires for us as believers here on earth. Mark speaks about money and generosity and extravagance....he's talking about 'wonder'....and that's all the further I have gotten. I am being challenged in reading it and I think that's what we are supposed to have happen as believers, followers of Christ....indwelt beings....be challenged to love more and give more than we've ever been challenged before. There is much we can DO as followers of Christ, much we can give.....and discovering that will change the world. His love was meant to do that.

John 9-11

I am blessed to be in a group w/women who read and journal together once a week and now we are beginning to share our journaling in and through email ....I love it....the encouragement I get from reading how He touches them..... Dan and I riding home from Iowa yesterday I said I wish people could see him the way I do of a morning…both of us teary and soft begging God to show us where He wants us….
so I love talking about this stuff…I love encouraging what I see in each of them, because of the time they are spending with Him…..wonder how to get this with other people and then I begin to wonder WHY I need it….why I can’t be simply awed by Him…..

This morning we were caught up in the blind man’s healing. Wondering if he lost the wonder of being blind and being allowed to see? The story ends w/Jesus saying….John 9: 38"Master, I believe," the man said, and worshiped him. 39Jesus then said, "I came into the world to bring everything into the clear light of day, making all the distinctions clear, so that those who have never seen will see, and those who have made a great pretense of seeing will be exposed as blind."
Did the blind man lose His wonder…do we?? We started talking about if we lived at the foot of the mountains would we ever stop being awestruck by them?? I think we would. Dan said he would always be thinking about how to climb them and I would simply lose the wonder of them…..we just wondered if that’s indicative about how we think of Jesus……we didn’t come to any conclusions just made for a good discussion….how to live in wonder at being saved, chosen….His sheep???
I think in that wonder I would be more responsively obedient.....I think maybe that's what's happening and it is harder than I want life to be....a sheep follows her shepherd.....that's who I want to be. 2010 a year of following.....

John 2-4

Yesterday: 2 Peter 1: 3-4 Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.

Today: 20-22 They were indignant: "It took forty-six years to build this Temple, and you're going to rebuild it in three days?" But Jesus was talking about his body as the Temple. Later, after he was raised from the dead, his disciples remembered he had said this. They then put two and two together and believed both what was written in Scripture and what Jesus had said.

And hearing You say....'Moment by Moment'.......

Even the disciples walking with you daily sometimes, in the looking back were better able to see all that You Do....seeing You in everything is still such a surprise...I know it shouldn't be, I shouldn't BE surprised.. ...but Abba it is and what a delightful surprise it is.....

John 4: 36-38 "The Harvester isn't waiting. He's taking his pay, gathering in this grain that's ripe for eternal life. Now the Sower is arm in arm with the Harvester, triumphant. That's the truth of the saying, 'This one sows, that one harvests.' I sent you to harvest a field you never worked. Without lifting a finger, you have walked in on a field worked long and hard by others."

Our recent conversation and Your assurance that IF I do what I can do YOU are always DOING WHAT YOU DO SO WELL....

2 Peter 1-3; John 1

And there it is......2 Peter 1: 3-4 Everything that goes into a life of pleasing God has been miraculously given to us by getting to know, personally and intimately, the One who invited us to God. The best invitation we ever received! We were also given absolutely terrific promises to pass on to you—your tickets to participation in the life of God after you turned your back on a world corrupted by lust.

I still yearn for the world's 'atta girl'......so until I put that behind me, the freedom I preach to others will elude me....not always, just when I am lusting after that 'atta girl'..... I so desire in 2010 to turn my back on that….

Because the stakes are so high, even though you're up-to-date on all this truth and practice it inside and out, I'm not going to let up for a minute in calling you to attention before it. This is the post to which I've been assigned—keeping you alert with frequent reminders—and I'm sticking to it as long as I live. I know that I'm to die soon; the Master has made that quite clear to me. And so I am especially eager that you have all this down in black and white so that after I die, you'll have it for ready reference. (2 Peter 1:12-15)

So 2010…doesn’t that look weird….I am asking you all to help me to grow and asking if you will allow me/us to help each other because the stakes are HIGH…

Help me to not look more to people than to Him….

Which may mean an end to blogging...because I probably more than I would ever admit do it for comments...to meet new people....to maybe here have someone affirm me...until then tho how can I pray for you.

Random Revelations or Memories Thereof

Beginning of the thread a really cool seeking heart expressing his desire to really GO TO His Father....really deepen his journey.

My reply:
This means the world and just so you know…..when we allow Jesus in, really into our hearts we all realize what a pile of crap we are….me I found myself to be a snake in a basket…an ok basket and unless you poked the basket too much I was just that a snake in a basket…I AM a snake in a basket….that had to sink in and I really had to look at that and accept His love it gets ……..it gets……I don’t know it’s not easier and yet it maybe is….all that convoluted stuff to say…..once we’ve found Christ and really looked at ourselves you really don’t look at anyone else the same any longer…..we’re human and may react to what you say but ultimately we’re all saved by His GRACE and HIS GRACE ….. we’re human tho….so you and Him talk about it and when you’re ready to share I trust that HE WILL HAVE US ready to listen and encourage you to go deeper and deeper into HIS GRACE yourself…just read this from Shea leaving for SA in a couple of weeks…..we all struggle Alex and we are blessed…BLESSED that you allow us to journey with you.

Another person jumps in: So, what defines snake in a basket exactly?

My reply: It was the beginning of ‘self awareness’.
Dan and I would have a fight or whomever and I…..
and I would begin with the thinking if they just weren’t so___________ fill in the blank...(mean, stubborn, perfect) that’s kind of the progression….In that thinking I was innocent or so I thot, a victim….

I don’t know...I don't exactly remember how I got...to the snake. I just remember getting there and seeing I was the snake very clearly. I was trapped in a basket and it wasn’t me physically and yet I knew it WAS me , the visual of a snake in a basket, you know like snake-charmers have…pretty cool basket….some of them even pretty….but inside there's always a snake, a bad snake, a cobra…poisonous and sly….
sly…
crap that one really gets me ( I would get, still get sooooo pissed hearing someone say that S’s are inwardly compliant outwardly defiant) ….
I am a snake.

I hardly ever before Christ could tell the truth. I always said what I thot someone wanted to hear (sly), what would get me what I wanted (my way, peace, friendship) ____ fill in the blank, it was usually one of those. And if the person responded correctly…..everything was good.
BUT if it started going south there was a rumbling in the basket, the lid was still on (so far) but the rumbling, the poison was getting ready…..then every once in awhile, usually in the quiet of my own home (sly) the lid would fly off and the poison would flow.
BUT I convinced myself that as long as no one saw it I was ok……then the Word began convicting me with verses like Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander….

I hope you get the picture, I could go on and on and don’t want this to get overly long….so my heart was bad….that hurt and in that realization over and over (slow learner here) I NEEDED Jesus…..and He does like to be needed. And the more I looked at my heart and it’s deception and poison the more I went to Him and the more I went to Him, the more GRACE I experienced and I HOPE He is changing my heart….

I think I’m still that snake in the basket but more and more it’s being revealed and confessed….
and in that shame and embarassement He meets me and I am grateful..GRACE

I don’t know if this makes sense but thanks for helping me to flesh it out….and you know what, as hard as it is to admit how bad I am, how weak…..how embarrassing…..the GRACE that comes in that / those admissions is amazing.

Primal by Mark Batterson

I am blessed to be able to read a book and offer my opinions on it. Simply because I responded to a call of 'would you like to join a blog tour'....the book is Primal A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity by Mark Batterson. I read In the Pit w/a Lion on a Snowy Day and was immediately sold, so looking forward to cracking the binding on a brand new book and seeing where God takes me...on page 8 of Chap. 1 he says.."My aim in this book is to take you to new places intellectually and spiritually so that you discover new ways of loving God. But I also hope this book takes you back to a primal place where God loved you and you loved God . And that's all that mattered."...I think I'm hooked.

So far in Chapters 1 and 2 he is reeling me in beautifully.....w/the perfect arc of challenging my thinking and encouraging my heart...if each of us simply took ownership of our unique, God-ordained passions, we'd start a coup de compassion the likes of which has not been seen since the first century.

This day my heart hurts.....not sure how to move out of it or if I am to move into it....my heart just hurts....

Hebrews 11&12; Jude

We went to a charismatic service last nite....I guess that's what you'd call it...The Boiler Room in downtown KC a 24/7 prayer experience....I wanted to FIT there....I wanted to..it stretched me for sure....I hope in the stretching it grows me....but I didn't fit...
If you write God on one hand and ________________ on the other hand (something that is important to you)....the hand w/God on it has to be first, hold it up right in front of your face...HAS to be first.....

on my other hand is 'fitting in'...whenever that hand, that god comes before YOU I am in trouble.....

I've been in trouble here lately....seeking a place to fit more than seeking You...seeking the approval of people more than You.....it's so sneaky too you know? I can think I'm about seeking You and Your face and all of a sudden I want someone to notice THAT....someone...anyone to admire or encourage that seeking....even a comment or two here becomes what I seek...then I'd fit.....and really ....really???
What You call us too, is about seeking You and Your face alone.....You are a jealous God and I know when I put anything else in front of You......I am in trouble....
what's on your other hand??

Everything in the reading today makes me weak in the knees....it's true....all of it...You are a God who saves and we are blessed to be in Your number.....it's not about 'fitting in'...or doing anything for God...He's done it and now.....seek Him and His face only....and because we can't we pray for each other.....
Hebrews 12: 18-21 Pray for us. We have no doubts about what we're doing or why, but it's hard going and we need your prayers. All we care about is living well before God. Pray that we may be together soon.

May God, who puts all things together,

makes all things whole,

Who made a lasting mark through the sacrifice of Jesus,

the sacrifice of blood that sealed the eternal covenant,

Who led Jesus, our Great Shepherd,

up and alive from the dead,

Now put you together, provide you

with everything you need to please him,

Make us into what gives him most pleasure,

by means of the sacrifice of Jesus, the Messiah.

All glory to Jesus forever and always!

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Philemon; Hebrews 1-4

Today is my youngest Grands birthday...she's 2 and she's a princess.....'cincess!!' is how she says it and I had the most fun making her a tutu and getting all the accoutrements to make her a beautiful dancing princess...she loves to dance too. We have 2 family weddings this spring/summer and can't wait to see her shakin her booty w/her PaPa.....I pray for her to always dance Abba...to not get caught up in appearances and what people think of her or her dancing..... I pray she looks to You and You only for a glimpse of what her dancing looks like to You...I think You like it when we dance.....Thank you for gifting her to our family 2 years ago, she IS a gift.

Hebrews 2: 16-18 It's obvious, of course, that he didn't go to all this trouble for angels. It was for people like us, children of Abraham. That's why he had to enter into every detail of human life. Then, when he came before God as high priest to get rid of the people's sins, he would have already experienced it all himself—all the pain, all the testing—and would be able to help where help was needed.

Hebrews 4: 1-3 For as long, then, as that promise of resting in him pulls us on to God's goal for us, we need to be careful that we're not disqualified. We received the same promises as those people in the wilderness, but the promises didn't do them a bit of good because they didn't receive the promises with faith. If we believe, though, we'll experience that state of resting. But not if we don't have faith. Remember that God said, Exasperated, I vowed,

"They'll never get where they're going,

never be able to sit down and rest."

3-7 God made that vow, even though he'd finished his part before the foundation of the world. Somewhere it's written, "God rested the seventh day, having completed his work," but in this other text he says, "They'll never be able to sit down and rest." So this promise has not yet been fulfilled. Those earlier ones never did get to the place of rest because they were disobedient. God keeps renewing the promise and setting the date as today, just as he did in David's psalm, centuries later than the original invitation:

Today, please listen,

don't turn a deaf ear . . .

8-11 And so this is still a live promise. It wasn't canceled at the time of Joshua; otherwise, God wouldn't keep renewing the appointment for "today." The promise of "arrival" and "rest" is still there for God's people. God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we'll surely rest with God. So let's keep at it and eventually arrive at the place of rest, not drop out through some sort of disobedience.
12-13 God means what he says. What he says goes. His powerful Word is sharp as a surgeon's scalpel, cutting through everything, whether doubt or defense, laying us open to listen and obey. Nothing and no one is impervious to God's Word. We can't get away from it—no matter what.
The High Priest Who Cried Out in Pain 14-16 Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let's not let it slip through our fingers. We don't have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He's been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let's walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.

I am moved this morning...I can't do this alone...Your Spirit pulls me...to read Your word, even as I pray for a woman to mentor me.....I feel so lonely sometimes or maybe it's that not fitting thing.....I have a weekend w/my women friends and while I yearn for a depth with them knowing I have to take us there.....crap the BUT....I'm too afraid...to expose my yearnings to them and I just got done telling my dearest friend to trust You and here I am not.....a life without 'buts'....

2 Timothy 1-4

Left a meeting last nite confused.....no buts about it confused...the 'but' could come in when I try , should I try to do anything without Your Grace.....to do something out of who I am rather than who You say be....gonna be another 'teary' day I think.....that's not to say I sit here at my desk boohooing and dragging people into being sad....a good, soft, teary kind of day....
2 Timothy 3
14-17 But don't let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers—why, you took in the sacred Scriptures with your mother's milk! There's nothing like the written Word of God for showing you the way to salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God's way. Through the Word we are put together and shaped up for the tasks God has for us.
2 Timothy 4
2 Timothy 4 1-2 I can't impress this on you too strongly. God is looking over your shoulder. Christ himself is the Judge, with the final say on everyone, living and dead. He is about to break into the open with his rule, so proclaim the Message with intensity; keep on your watch. Challenge, warn, and urge your people. Don't ever quit. Just keep it simple.

Thinking about stopping blogging or at least this blog...want to be more interactive and for some reason I've never been able to accomplish that. I sit at my desk (teary) somedays just yearning for someone to write me, to reach out...to encourage or challenge me....I think I have a way of repelling people...I believe in blogging the Bible and have for almost 3 years now...perhaps a change of pace. I will always believe His word is worth passing on, a life in Him is meant to be exciting and risky, shared and experienced......so maybe a blog of photo's where I see Him every day.....like I saw Him here... I see Him everywhere and would LOVE to see where others see and experience Him...or maybe this is my place and when I die I want people to know how I felt....guess I am still confused....
'through the word we are put together and shaped for the tasks God has for us.' or maybe just plain stubborn and rebellious.....wanting what I want instead of grasping what You provide....:)

1 Timothy 5-6; Titus 1-3

To eliminate 'buts' from my life, w/o hesitation.....to implement what I read into my life, no one else's ....mine and where appropriate w/grace, forgiveness and love into others....to w/o a but obey...You gonna have to help me Abba You know me....
1 Tim. 6:6 A devout life does bring wealth, BUT it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. 6: ^17-19 Tell those rich in this world's wealth to quit being so full of themselves and so obsessed with money, which is here today and gone tomorrow. Tell them to go after God, who piles on all the riches we could ever manage—to do good, to be rich in helping others, to be extravagantly generous. If they do that, they'll build a treasury that will last, gaining life that is truly life.
^20-21And oh, my dear Timothy, guard the treasure you were given! Guard it with your life. Avoid the talk-show religion and the practiced confusion of the so-called experts. People caught up in a lot of talk can miss the whole point of faith. Overwhelming grace keep you!

Titus 2 A God-Filled Life ^1-6 Your job is to speak out on the things that make for solid doctrine. Guide older men into lives of temperance, dignity, and wisdom, into healthy faith, love, and endurance. Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don't want anyone looking down on God's Message because of their behavior. Also, guide the young men to live disciplined lives. ^7-8 But mostly, show them all this by doing it yourself, incorruptible in your teaching, your words solid and sane. Then anyone who is dead set against us, when he finds nothing weird or misguided, might eventually come around.

Abba I am beyond wealthy...I am blessed. Guide me to live without a BUT....
















today I feel teary.....alot of days I do....not sad, just teary....perhaps it is a softness born of dependence......???

1 Timonthy 1-4

Just back from Los Angeles a great place to visit for sure but home is best. Emma was an amazing traveling companion and praying this morning when everything isn't revolving around her she does ok.....daughter and husband living there I vascilate between proud of her living in California and judging her for doing so.....for even considering raising kids there...I know I know I'm wrong and judgmental and not trusting God ......that's it isn't it and there's no BUT involved....You are in charge and I am to lean into and trust Your will.....I want her / them here....to want what YOU want that's the journey for me, not them.....or mine for me and them for theirs....to want what You want MORE than anything....

There are no BUT'S with YOU and I am never far from one.....I don't know how to live for you alone BUT I want to.....I want to want what you want more than anything...I want my daughter and hubs in LA to know Your love so deeply that living in that lonely place they know a peace that will sustain them and they won't have to look to each other and in that PEACE ....ahh crap just me not living in the peace myself.....1 Tim 3: 6-10 You've been raised on the Message of the faith and have followed sound teaching. Now pass on this counsel to the followers of Jesus there, and you'll be a good servant of Jesus. Stay clear of silly stories that get dressed up as religion. Exercise daily in God—no spiritual flabbiness, please! Workouts in the gymnasium are useful, but a disciplined life in God is far more so, making you fit both today and forever. You can count on this. Take it to heart. This is why we've thrown ourselves into this venture so totally. We're banking on the living God, Savior of all men and women, especially believers.
11-14 Get the word out. Teach all these things. And don't let anyone put you down because you're young. Teach believers with your life: by word, by demeanor, by love, by faith, by integrity. Stay at your post reading Scripture, giving counsel, teaching. And that special gift of ministry you were given when the leaders of the church laid hands on you and prayed—keep that dusted off and in use.
15-16 Cultivate these things. Immerse yourself in them. The people will all see you mature right before their eyes! Keep a firm grasp on both your character and your teaching. Don't be diverted. Just keep at it. Both you and those who hear you will experience salvation.

That's why I journal here....lay out the scriptures and how I wrestle w/them and You.....It's true you can't give away what you don't have .....but now....see another BUT....trust YOU.

In

with

She's bigger than this now BUT still Mom is trusting me to take her on an adventure....

we are going to visit....

I am blessed....

CHALLENGE / Romans 13-16

Honor / Holy

Two words to think about in regards to Dan today.....not hard right now we're in sync so to speak.....

BUT when your attempts at honor go unreciprocated, you are to give honor just the same. That's when love dares to do - to say, "of all relationships I have, I will value ours the most. Of all the things I'm willing to sacrifice, I will sacrifice the most for you. With all your failures, sins, mistakes and faults - past and present- I still choose to love and honor you. " That's how you create an atmosphere for love to be rekindled. That's how you lead your heart to truly love your mate again. And that's the beauty of honor. pg 73 day 15

to not guard my heart, self protect and attempt to wound him or whomever ...because that's kind of cool and risky and hard doing this, for my husband... but in the ease right now with him turning it to others, all others.....to not self protect because You are my protector and here very clearly asking me to lead my heart.....

And then...right out of the gate in Romans this morning... Love, for the Day is Near 13: 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself."10 Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

followed up w/15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Our first question this morning was 'what does your pursuit of God look like?' ....right now...like a deer pants for water I am seeking You....because...because....I don't know...I think it's because I am finally living in the acknowlegement of MY NEED for grace and for some reason enjoying the abundance of GRACE You give...it's like a waterfall drenching me.....

Romans 9-12 / Challenge

Day 14: One of the most important things you should learn on your Love Dare Journey is that you should not just follow your heart. You should..you MUST lead it. You don't let your feelings and emotions do the driving. You put them in the back seat and tell them where you're going.

That concept at the beginning of the book intrigued me. I always thot following my heart would be best.....but it hasn't been. I guard my heart more than I should....in pretty much every relationship. I could lay out the reasons why.. but even in my head this morning they are lame...I am not finding anywhere promises of no pain, of not being hurt....on the contrary a life in Christ seems to lay out there, how much pain there will be....BUT the promise of Your comfort... that now is becoming very attractive and real....so I have no excuse to protect or guard my heart and that's scary. To think of leading my heart directly into situations where there is the potential for failure and pain...when I have avoided both most of my life...sounds counterintuitive and crazy....and exactly what and where He calls me.....and you...

Romans 12: 1-2 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

So I am not a detail person.... could I do something needing attention to detail??? Can you?

Romans 5-8; CHALLENGE

Romans 8: 15-17 This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him!

Before that tho : 6: 22-23 But now that you've found you don't have to listen to sin tell you what to do, and have discovered the delight of listening to God telling you, what a surprise! A whole, healed, put-together life right now, with more and more of life on the way! Work hard for sin your whole life and your pension is death. But God's gift is real life, eternal life, delivered by Jesus, our Master.

The RISKY life of seeking You and in the seeking learning to LISTEN to You....Risky because in 5 there's ....vs. 3-5 There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!

So there's gonna BE troubles.....troubles take us to pereverance and that takes us to passionate patience and that leads us to alertness and alertness takes us right back to a delight in / of listening to God.....

What's next Papa?....