numbers 8-9; acts 28

the cloud.......
even w/the visibility of Your presence, tho in these chapters there is obedience
i know coming is a loss of that
i used to wish we had that tangibility...visibility of You
now w/Your Spirit i know how blessed we are
how discouraged You got.....over and over we let You down
You never gave up on us
Jesus
Your Holy Spirit

how do we live Abba, Jesus and Holy Spirit with a dependence on You that is not only obedient to You but a blessing on our lives? listening to a young couple last nite discouraged in their dreaming....i wanted / waited to hear about You in their lives, that i didn't hear it doesn't mean anything does it? i can only live in my own dependence.....sharing the stories of a life spent pursuing that obedience, the moments of blessing in the midst of challenge...of joy in the midst of a sadness at seeing my own sin, joy at the grace You've given...
i no longer wish for the cloud now i pray for obedience and a life of dependence

in acts, again reminded it can never be about people's perception.....we are all skewed and see things through filters of our own experiences......i must read here daily and pray through and with doubts......
i desperately want the life change Paul experienced....to become softer and softer in the midst of trials because i KNOW who Jesus is........trusting that more and more and there becoming approachable and likable....
not the goal, I know but the word to me has connotations that i want......but perhaps in faith and trust..not trying to earn anything from anyone, in that softness and approachability more chances to talk about what You have done....but You know You have to give me the words.