John 15-18

I am close to tears this morning, a mixture of joy and sadness.....
Joy in the season....
Sadness and joy in remembering South Africa....sadness in what happens, in feeling insufficient and helpless and joy in anticipating gathering support for Rufus and Almarie and in that support they be allowed to continue to impact the people of the Transkei....
Sadness in that it's different this year....personally different in good and difficult ways...
Daughter married and beginning her own traditions, first time in her 28 years we haven't shared a Christmas morning. I know I know how blessed I was to have the 28...no buts.
Best friend moving away, to a new life, home, job, relationship......no buts blessed to have enjoyed 20+ years of friendship.
In reading John this morning convicted and shamed and covered in Grace and forgiven...I so badly want to BE like Peter...no buts his failures are as lived out as his successes.

2010 a life of following and serving w/no buts...I am a servant of the most High God and Jesus prayed .....

16: 6-12 I spelled out your character in detail

To the men and women you gave me.

They were yours in the first place;

Then you gave them to me,

And they have now done what you said.

They know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt,

That everything you gave me is firsthand from you,

For the message you gave me, I gave them;

And they took it, and were convinced

That I came from you.

They believed that you sent me.

I pray for them. I'm not praying for the God-rejecting world

But for those you gave me,

For they are yours by right.

Everything mine is yours, and yours mine,

And my life is on display in them.

For I'm no longer going to be visible in the world;

They'll continue in the world While I return to you.

Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life

That you conferred as a gift through me,

So they can be one heart and mind As we are one heart and mind.

As long as I was with them, I guarded them

In the pursuit of the life you gave through me;

I even posted a night watch.

And not one of them got away,

Except for the rebel bent on destruction

(the exception that proved the rule of Scripture).