Random Revelations or Memories Thereof

Beginning of the thread a really cool seeking heart expressing his desire to really GO TO His Father....really deepen his journey.

My reply:
This means the world and just so you know…..when we allow Jesus in, really into our hearts we all realize what a pile of crap we are….me I found myself to be a snake in a basket…an ok basket and unless you poked the basket too much I was just that a snake in a basket…I AM a snake in a basket….that had to sink in and I really had to look at that and accept His love it gets ……..it gets……I don’t know it’s not easier and yet it maybe is….all that convoluted stuff to say…..once we’ve found Christ and really looked at ourselves you really don’t look at anyone else the same any longer…..we’re human and may react to what you say but ultimately we’re all saved by His GRACE and HIS GRACE ….. we’re human tho….so you and Him talk about it and when you’re ready to share I trust that HE WILL HAVE US ready to listen and encourage you to go deeper and deeper into HIS GRACE yourself…just read this from Shea leaving for SA in a couple of weeks…..we all struggle Alex and we are blessed…BLESSED that you allow us to journey with you.

Another person jumps in: So, what defines snake in a basket exactly?

My reply: It was the beginning of ‘self awareness’.
Dan and I would have a fight or whomever and I…..
and I would begin with the thinking if they just weren’t so___________ fill in the blank...(mean, stubborn, perfect) that’s kind of the progression….In that thinking I was innocent or so I thot, a victim….

I don’t know...I don't exactly remember how I got...to the snake. I just remember getting there and seeing I was the snake very clearly. I was trapped in a basket and it wasn’t me physically and yet I knew it WAS me , the visual of a snake in a basket, you know like snake-charmers have…pretty cool basket….some of them even pretty….but inside there's always a snake, a bad snake, a cobra…poisonous and sly….
sly…
crap that one really gets me ( I would get, still get sooooo pissed hearing someone say that S’s are inwardly compliant outwardly defiant) ….
I am a snake.

I hardly ever before Christ could tell the truth. I always said what I thot someone wanted to hear (sly), what would get me what I wanted (my way, peace, friendship) ____ fill in the blank, it was usually one of those. And if the person responded correctly…..everything was good.
BUT if it started going south there was a rumbling in the basket, the lid was still on (so far) but the rumbling, the poison was getting ready…..then every once in awhile, usually in the quiet of my own home (sly) the lid would fly off and the poison would flow.
BUT I convinced myself that as long as no one saw it I was ok……then the Word began convicting me with verses like Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 15:19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander….

I hope you get the picture, I could go on and on and don’t want this to get overly long….so my heart was bad….that hurt and in that realization over and over (slow learner here) I NEEDED Jesus…..and He does like to be needed. And the more I looked at my heart and it’s deception and poison the more I went to Him and the more I went to Him, the more GRACE I experienced and I HOPE He is changing my heart….

I think I’m still that snake in the basket but more and more it’s being revealed and confessed….
and in that shame and embarassement He meets me and I am grateful..GRACE

I don’t know if this makes sense but thanks for helping me to flesh it out….and you know what, as hard as it is to admit how bad I am, how weak…..how embarrassing…..the GRACE that comes in that / those admissions is amazing.