Friday, November 5, 2010

Job 28-29; Galatians 1-2

Changed my bio from
wrestler
to
sinner saved by GRACE
maybe should just say flat out disobedient = sinner saved by GRACE

Scary to see it so clearly for what it is, embarassing and shameful that others have seen it for so long. Now to operate in the GRACE and not the shame...humbly in the GRACE.

I want this verse to define me but it doesn't....Galatians 2:19-21 My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me.

Christ does live in me how can I continue to be disobedient...reading about Paul in Acts where he is bit by the snake and everyone says ooooh look at how God's gonna get him and then when he suffers no ill effects, everyone says oooooh he's a god.....
I thot I got that.
What I get for thinking and not staying humble in the awe of seeing anything from You...I mean I really thot i got that. And then yesterday how quickly in a simple conversation I forget and let my ego control me and lose any ground I think I've gained.
And there it is...it's not about gaining ground...it's about losing it and being dependent and humble ....crap

You forgive me again and again and again....how can I not want to give this away....and now I feel my feet at the fire of being obedient and I just want to run away......help me please Abba, Holy Spirit to be obedient....to know what to do and do it.

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Aspirations for the here and now:

  • Ask way more questions than offer answers.
  • Be more spontaneous and outrageous, loving with an abandon that isn't about me.
  • Be who I am even if she is crazy and weird
  • Do a good deed for a stranger
  • Don't be afraid to dream
  • Enjoy more sunrises.
  • Enjoy my husband and family.
  • Everyone has a story, listen to them.
  • Find a dreaming friend
  • Go on a picnic with Dan
  • Go snorkeling again.
  • Hear You
  • Help someone
  • Hike/walk regularly
  • Learn to live more and more SIMPLE
  • Learn to live without 'blinking'
  • Learn to love, really love
  • Learn to say I'm sorry w/o a 'but'
  • Learn to, strive to, be 'other' centered
  • Learn what it is to BE a friend
  • Lose 20 more pounds and take another trip to LA
  • Love, love, love on my Grandkids
  • Make a new friend
  • Read MORE books, make the time to read
  • Take alot of photos and learn how to take better ones and share better the ones I take.

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