Jeremiah 52; Revelation 1; Psalm 143 - 144

Immediate oooooh reaction to Revelation, and then 12X in the intro Eugene Peterson uses the word Worship...it being a book about worship and I realize how little I understand about it as a noun or a verb......in corporate worship where I am uncomfortable..I cross my arms with fists over my heart.....I don't even there have open hands......in looking at googleimages all hands are open,hundred, thousands of images all hands and arms wide open and........I don't.....I look at my writing here as Worship....it's about yeilding and my obvious fight against it... and maybe that's not worship?? I don't know....again so much I don't know....
Had a definite reaction in reading Jeremiah and David's Psalms about not being 'used up' and hearing You ask why I am so averse to that....so much I don't know and in that not knowing like David said I will Psalm 143: 6 I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land.

I will see myself today as close fisted wanting what I want and open up to whatever is You seek to give me....broken hearted and so afraid and yet.....thirsty