Num 32-33; Mark 10; Matthew 8

I woke up this morning still reeling in yesterday and realizing well…realizing I let too many voices drown out His , that I claim I, pray that I want to hear…I tell others to listen to and for Him and I give too much credence to the voices in my life I hear have heard…….and in the ‘fighting against’ those voices I waste a lot of energy while He wants for me FREEDOM….so reading this morning…

Number 32:11 Because they have not followed me wholeheartedly...
vs. 15 If you turn away from following him....

Fighting against (those voices) divides my heart….I think I’ve known this but wanted to change to fighting FOR something but just simply couldn’t/ WOULDN”T stop fighting against what I thought I heard….again…fighting divides my heart and isn’t wholeheartedly after Him…...I don’t fully know what this means in my life. I know that through meeting Rufus, Falling for God and now the PAPA Prayer He does want to speak with me…HE does want me to follow Him and Him alone……so laying it out there to you so that when you hear me giving more thot to people rather than to Him HELP me to remember who it is that is calling me to serve…..when you hear me going down that bad road of wanting affirmation and credit point me back to Him..bust me about how I make every freakin thing about me, myself and I …and remind me that He wants me wholeheartedly following Him…

I think I am coming back to a picture I had a long time ago about what and who He maybe made me to be….it was a visual of a sheepdog, working for His Shepherd….The Shepherd sends the sheepdog out and sometimes He’s nipping after the heels of a lost sheep trying to bring him or her back to the flock, the shepherd. He does what the shepherd asks no more and no less….he doesn’t do anything with the lost sheep after returning him or her back to the shepherd, he knows the Shepherd has him or her and that He will protect and guide them.

I like, heck I LOVE seeing people come alive in who He is, has been, could be in their lives…..I like helping them get to or get back to the Shepherds care…..
Mark 10:31 But many who are first will be last and the last first.
So...it's ok to be following in the rear sheepdogging ???
I am a sheep
YOURS
You could have made me a sheepdog too??
A sheepdog looks to her shepherd to tell her what to do
A sheepdog loves her shepherd and longs to hear 'good job' now go bring another back
A sheepdog is focused on what her shepherd commands

A sheepdog wholeheartedly follows her shepherd….
Help me Abba to simply help others find their shepherd...

so remind me of this next time I get all …however it is I get….and I know you all know what I’m talking about…..we see it in each other and maybe don’t feel like we have permission to call it out on each other…I am asking you to please HELP … I am giving you all permission to call it out, me on it……help me to become more about wholeheartedly following Him.