How come I can tell people to trust You and even think I am and then ...bam find out I'm not? Another morning coming to You broken and yielded and yet sitting at my desk all self protective and stubborn.....afraid of how I will react.....of what happens after.....

1 Cor. 9: 19 Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. 22To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

24 Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

I thot I did.....the kids busted me tho on the way back from Iowa that I am looking for a formula. That really surprised me...I thot I explored people equally w/ the same mind/heart set but in all reality maybe they are right?? I don't know how to make myself a slave...I want desperately to be able to talk to people about Christ....maybe I want that more than I want them talking to Jesus themselves ..to run in such a way as to get the prize....means to me to not quit, to listen to my kids, those who know me best and keep running.....the prize to me would be all that I come in contact with would come to know Jesus.....so to become softer, more yielding and loving instead of looking to be loved. I am after all...loved by You and that keeps me running.