Monday, February 1, 2010

Exodus 30 -31; Exodus 32; Acts 8; Matt. 28

Mind Dump:
I got an aunt, in a nursing home, mean as a snake right now or.....her basket is so beat up she is exposed and striking at any and all who might get close. Doesn't make her any less of a snake but she never knew she was a snake. If I hadn't discovered my 'inner snake' I would have never needed the Good News of Jesus...what do I do now?? All I want to do is sit by her bed (while she's dying, don't want to expose myself to her venom right now...nahh the truth is I don't want to inconvenience myself w/trips to Iowa exploring her now ) singing Jesus loves me...what good will that do....so to inconvenience myself and not wait...Jesus help this to go deep so I don't forget.

I love TWITTER....I love hearing what people are doing, thinking....I hate those who judge other's twitters and use it as a platform to criticize. I really don't like blogs either than criticize others....what happened to saying what you believe and trusting that God just might have something to say or use in what others say. What happened to BEING the Good News and trusting God in what you say? What happened to conversation about differences? What happened to seeking more to understand than to be understood...understand I like this concept just don't know how to use it in this arena without exposing all my beliefs and lack of understanding in those beliefs....why am I so scared all the time of revealing what I think? Well beyond the obvious that so much of the time I am thinking about me and how that affects/effects me and ...I need a Peter to call out the Simon in me....I need to be soft enough to respond to that 'calling out'...Acts 8 reference

I so badly want my friends to come to a fund raising banquet in February...do I want them to come and give money or to be introduced to the mission in SA.....can I want both? How to invite, to just trust You in the 'ask'.....

I so badly want Dan to go back to SA this summer and get to help build the Orphan Care Center.

As much as I love and desire our money to go to South Africa..having a SIL from Haiti I am very drawn, concerned for the situation there..praying to KNOW what to do, when to do it and giving money as we can until then...praying to live on less to give more.....and Thanking You for making that happen in both Dan and I...the desire to live to give is new and feels vital and fresh...

I hear don't judge and don't care who judges me...why don't I simply live in that....?

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Aspirations for the here and now:

  • Ask way more questions than offer answers.
  • Be more spontaneous and outrageous, loving with an abandon that isn't about me.
  • Be who I am even if she is crazy and weird
  • Do a good deed for a stranger
  • Don't be afraid to dream
  • Enjoy more sunrises.
  • Enjoy my husband and family.
  • Everyone has a story, listen to them.
  • Find a dreaming friend
  • Go on a picnic with Dan
  • Go snorkeling again.
  • Hear You
  • Help someone
  • Hike/walk regularly
  • Learn to live more and more SIMPLE
  • Learn to live without 'blinking'
  • Learn to love, really love
  • Learn to say I'm sorry w/o a 'but'
  • Learn to, strive to, be 'other' centered
  • Learn what it is to BE a friend
  • Lose 20 more pounds and take another trip to LA
  • Love, love, love on my Grandkids
  • Make a new friend
  • Read MORE books, make the time to read
  • Take alot of photos and learn how to take better ones and share better the ones I take.

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