Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Ezekiel 17 - 19; Revelation 7

Last week's fantasticness had to do w/last child getting married.....
Dan and I have been married 32 years and our oldest is 31 so all our lives have been about children and now all 3 are married....it's amazing and beautiful and hard and freeing and happy and sad all at the same time....I wonder at what we do now?
Getting married w/o Christ and existing for those first 20 years ...and then to FIND this relationship w/God through Christ...
I can't explain the frustrations, joys, sorrows, brokenness, risk and excitement that has been the last 10 or so.....
I can't explain falling deeper in love w/my husband....
I can't explain watching my kids struggle and deal w/conflict w/their spouses and the excitement that brings to me, knowing they are approaching marriage at the beginning so far different than their Dad and I.....
I can't explain watching them in the tension and feeling excited for them.... to wrestle w/all this now and the excitement that brings up in me that seeking God in their lives, their relationships will bring them so much joy, sorrow, contentment and a desire for RISK and excitement that I know HE fulfills!!
It's not about expectations for them it's about HOPE.....
My daughter moving back to LA w/a man not fully devoted ...is worrisome...but I've seen what turning to Him, turning BACK to Him can and does do......

And then there's South Africa...we leave October 7th......

Praying the last two years to live in RISK......and now FREEDOM and RISK are right there and I am left wondering what I am going to do......???

Realizing that I WAS a runner....that I became a FIGHTER/WRESTLER.....and now.....to know when to FIGHT and what for...to STOP simply and always fighting AGAINST....to follow where You lead....to trust You are always leading.....to trust YOU in everything.....

Ezekiel 18: 25-28 "Do I hear you saying, 'That's not fair! God's not fair!'?
"Listen, Israel. I'm not fair? You're the ones who aren't fair! If a good person turns away from his good life and takes up sinning, he'll die for it. He'll die for his own sin. Likewise, if a bad person turns away from his bad life and starts living a good life, a fair life, he will save his life. Because he faces up to all the wrongs he's committed and puts them behind him, he will live, really live. He won't die.
29 "And yet Israel keeps on whining, 'That's not fair! God's not fair.'
"I'm not fair, Israel? You're the ones who aren't fair.
30-32 "The upshot is this, Israel: I'll judge each of you according to the way you live. So turn around! Turn your backs on your rebellious living so that sin won't drag you down. Clean house. No more rebellions, please. Get a new heart! Get a new spirit! Why would you choose to die, Israel? I take no pleasure in anyone's death. Decree of God, the Master.
"Make a clean break! Live!"


You wait for us to turn to You....to turn back to YOU....to grab onto Jesus and LIVE......not to ignore the H1N1 crap or the possibility of a harsher than usual winter....but not to live in ANY kind of fear either....to grab onto Jesus and LIVE...and in that living draw others into that LIFE pointing ever and always to Christ....

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Aspirations for the here and now:

  • Ask way more questions than offer answers.
  • Be more spontaneous and outrageous, loving with an abandon that isn't about me.
  • Be who I am even if she is crazy and weird
  • Do a good deed for a stranger
  • Don't be afraid to dream
  • Enjoy more sunrises.
  • Enjoy my husband and family.
  • Everyone has a story, listen to them.
  • Find a dreaming friend
  • Go on a picnic with Dan
  • Go snorkeling again.
  • Hear You
  • Help someone
  • Hike/walk regularly
  • Learn to live more and more SIMPLE
  • Learn to live without 'blinking'
  • Learn to love, really love
  • Learn to say I'm sorry w/o a 'but'
  • Learn to, strive to, be 'other' centered
  • Learn what it is to BE a friend
  • Lose 20 more pounds and take another trip to LA
  • Love, love, love on my Grandkids
  • Make a new friend
  • Read MORE books, make the time to read
  • Take alot of photos and learn how to take better ones and share better the ones I take.

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