2 Samuel 11 & 12; Psalm 51; Matthew 23

Feeling weepy this morning....just a soft and maybe a bit lonely weepy. I think it's the way I'm made, I'll always feel a bit lonely.....attributed it to neediness and maybe that's so......always saw neediness as unattractive......so maybe that too....but more than lonely is a softness, a vulnerability.....to even write this stuff expose myself, look at myself....a soft scary vulnerability, willing to BE vulnerable because of who You are....loving me and calling me to in THAT love . love others....what an incredible journey it is......so soft and weepy this morning and thanking You that I do......

And today would be the story of David, Bathsheba, Uriah, Joab and Nathan. I knew it was coming and still rocked by this....this is a man God loves, sees as a man after His own heart.. a couple always blown away by his waxing poetic of who God is to him and then.....and how far down he travels....to having a woman's husband killed to cover up his impregnating her....And how God has Nathan tell him the truth and his immediate response to the truth.... his always turning back to God.....to be like David and humble myself over and over to just turn back....to not deny who I am but to turn it over and over to Jesus and in that humbling become someone different....I don't know just knew it was coming and yet really moved by it...and comforted by the Psalm, none of it, of me unkown to You....to not be a fake, a fraud, a pharisee....to be a follower of Christ taking all that I read deeply into my heart and trusting YOU are changing any and all of us who follow You........Matt. 23: 1-3 Now Jesus turned to address his disciples, along with the crowd that had gathered with them. "The religion scholars and Pharisees are competent teachers in God's Law. You won't go wrong in following their teachings on Moses. But be careful about following them. They talk a good line, but they don't live it. They don't take it into their hearts and live it out in their behavior. It's all spit-and-polish veneer.