1 Kings 3; 2 Chronicles 1; Psalm 78; 2 Thessalonians 2

I could whine and cry about it's being Monday or live what I believe in and just kick this day in the ass and say OK Father....what's next. I could beg You to guide me or just with an all out attitude of belief and trust just follow where You lead....I could be about fear or following....today I want to be about following......still got the fear and the doubts but more than them a knowing that Jesus loves me and in that love move.......in a tentative JOY and feeling Your mercy and grace.....move to.....................

I am asked WHY.....why I read and write my thoughts....I am challenged by are they MY thoughts and if they are what does that have to do w/my relationship w/You? I don't know.....I just know that through this time, reading about You....I am softer than I ever was without it. In the softness I hear.....I sense...
I don't know maybe it is just this crutch I use......to get by in life? It sure seems as tho the softness is You......I don't know, in the softness I sure can get hurt more and why the hell would I want to do that??
In the softness is a yearning for others to be able to find YOU........a desire to point others only to a journey of epic proportions although it may appear to be small......I am small and live a small life and yet see others as capable of living lives larger than life.....

2 Thessalonians 2: 7 For the secret power of lawlessness is already at work; but the one who now holds it back will continue to do so till he is taken out of the way. 8 And then the lawless one will be revealed, whom the Lord Jesus will overthrow with the breath of his mouth and destroy by the splendor of his coming. 9 The coming of the lawless one will be in accordance with the work of Satan displayed in all kinds of counterfeit miracles, signs and wonders, 10 and in every sort of evil that deceives those who are perishing. They perish because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. 11For this reason God sends them a powerful delusion so that they will believe the lie 12and so that all will be condemned who have not believed the truth but have delighted in wickedness.
Stand Firm 13 But we ought always to thank God for you, brothers loved by the Lord, because from the beginning God chose you to be saved through the sanctifying work of the Spirit and through belief in the truth. 14He called you to this through our gospel, that you might share in the glory of our Lord Jesus Christ. 15 So then, brothers, stand firm and hold to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.
16May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, 17 encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.

So while there is a heck of a lot I don't know, will never know...what I do know keeps me right here...praying you do too.....