Exodus 1-2; Psalm 88; Luke 21

This fast is weird, missing alot of stuff and struggling w/the missing and yet there is this closeness to You that I am loving. I am crying out for and loving. Well loving and wrestling against... yesterday hearing 'stop smoking' was NOT what I was wanting to hear from You.....and yet I heard it clearly and that You would help me if I did.....my kids have always called me a 'thug' because of my penchant for Black and Mild's.....
I don't want to quit...I like smoking...I don't smoke that much....
it all comes to mind and yet I clearly heard without an audible voice that if I want to hear from You in big things I have to listen in the small.....I have to listen and be obedient to what I hear....
So I am (quitting) , not happily, not without some draggin my feet...I am (quitting)...

I am so grateful to have heard even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear...so grateful.

Luke 21: 14 But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. 15 For I will give you words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict.