We are in the midst of making 'decisions'....footnote: I suck at making decisions
I generally wait and then 2nd guess whomever around me had the balls to make one. So I suck at making and following....

I wonder what if staying home was a rewardable decision? Staying home as the wife/mother and taking care of the home and mate were valid decisions. Understand I am not saying it's not just an unrewardable one. Rewarding in relationships YES but not in benefits, monetary benefits that would help later....

I am a throwback and have always sat on the belief that we as women are to help our men...that God made us as 'helpmates' for them. And have always secretly wondered about what if we, if it were our hearts choice stayed home...made homemaking and kid raising the career I believe it was intended to be. I said choice...and if it were your choice there would be compensation for it later in life...I don't have this thot out just trying to think out loud my thots.....what if He made us to be partners and in that partnership w/Him and our spouses we were fulfilling something....

I wish I as smarter and could write better ..thought clearer more intelligently....what I am thinking... but I'm not sure how 'right' it is so I struggle. What if my role as a woman is to encourage my husband....raise my children and point all to Christ and in fulfilling that role the future is more secure, in that there would be more LOVE in the world because in Christ we find LOVE .

Just some thots I had to get out of my head this morning...to pray about and allow His thots to invade my obsessive compulsive ones.....so a day of humble contemplation...tearful and soft and vulnerable....risky