Changing to Fighting For after a lifetime of Fighting Against

Woke up thinking about several different situations and then Dan and I simply while we read and journaled this AM …..wanna know what happened?? :)

We were reading in Deuteronomy….yeah I know….anyway in seeing Moses miss the blessing of crossing over into the promised land it kind of hit me that he/Moses missed the blessing because he fought against the stubbornness of the Israelites and lost his temper….he didn’t spend his time, his words simply and completely pointing the stubborn Israelites to God….now there’s obviously more to it than that but you gotta read Genesis, Exodus, Numbers to get it all…..

Anyway…..I am the Israelites.....so freaking stubborn....and even in my stubbornness He loves me..…now there are certain things we are called to do and say and be…but even when I don’t He loves me...

The Bible tells us to seek the counsel of many…..
We are a pretty messed up bunch of people and left to our own devices and thots and feelings we will simply do whatever it is that feels right to us and I can’t afford to do that anymore....it’s tough, it’s humbling and yet it’s what He says to do……..
And you know what…..what I am finding is forgiveness and in Him a desperate dependence that is bringing …more and more depth to my life, I have to THINK about things more than simply react…..I have to humble myself to hear……that’s RISKY…..and that makes me afraid and IF I listen to Him….I can know that He is not only ahead of me but that HE is with me….. I don’t always…but more and more…. when I do that with this desire to not just do what ‘feels right to me’…arghhh…...it’s hard ...way I am made I hear negative all the time…….when usually it’s just people who love me trying to help the best ways they know how…..and then it’s up to me to take that counsel and really ASK HIM what’s next….

When we were in Africa we met this guy named Rufus and he would ask Dan and I ‘if we’d asked God’ yet….and usually we hadn’t……now...in these situations and the ones to come learning to Ask God and listen...really really listen. And what I heard this morning is stop fighting so freaking hard against everything and everyone....start simply and completely fighting for.....You and Your Glory and that looks different in each situation I would imagine keeping me DESPERATELY DEPENDENT on You....