Jeremiah 37 - 39; Psalm 79; 2 John 1

chaos and more chaos.....
relationships connecting and glancing off in the connections......
I told someone the other day that the tears I shed here w/You, make the tears I shed all day in chaos, bearable......
this living risky and unsafe, trusting Your protection....trying to.....living in brokenness and failure praying for fruitfulness and more faith.....fighting against wanting to be seen as successfull and wise....when all I feel is afraid and alone and ultimately.....protected.....the spiritual life is not for the faint of heart that's for sure.....surrender and counterintuitive.....
but the alternative is no longer an option......
I so don't want to be Jeremiah that's for sure.......38: 15 Jeremiah said, "If I told you the whole truth, you'd kill me. And no matter what I said, you wouldn't pay any attention anyway."

and yet perhaps as followers of Christ that is the call....??? Telling people of Your love.....no...not telling, like Gerhard lives ...loving and serving w/out expecting to see any results of his labors, in Your love ....doing what You say because YOU say so...it just sounds so freakin crazy.....and hard and RISKY....

and then John this morning....8-9 And be very careful around them so you don't lose out on what we've worked so diligently in together; I want you to get every reward you have coming to you. Anyone who gets so progressive in his thinking that he walks out on the teaching of Christ, walks out on God. But whoever stays with the teaching, stays faithful to both the Father and the Son.
Talking this morning w/ the gals about the Shack...those that read it not seeing Jesus, thinking it's about ...whatever.....it has to be about Jesus.....the only way we can love others is because YOU first loved us in Him....so the loving comes from knowing in our heads and our hearts THAT love....seeking You and THAT LOVE over and over and over...where is it anything BUT??? arghhhhhh it never gets easier huh?? Living in surrender .....when you're a runner and then a fighter......Thank you Abba for being so relentless in Your love.....