Proverbs 18; Mark 10

Staying home ill today, still the coughing and sneezing......

Mark 10: 13-16 The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: "Don't push these children away. Don't ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in." Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them.

vs.27 Jesus was blunt: "No chance at all if you think you can pull it off by yourself. Every chance in the world if you let God do it."

I think I try so hard and when I fail I never quite fully give up-surrender. I'm always convinced I can DO better. I can't...and the trying is so prideful and stubborn.....it's like I get there, right at the foot of the cross and the pain of seeing myself for who I really am is so painful that I raise my hand to Him who hangs there on the cross, having paid it all , I raise my hand up and run away...the point is to stay in that realization and fully grasp the forgiveness He offers. I pray to do that, to not self contemptously (pridefully) think I can do better, to not stubbornly hold on to whatever in that moment makes me think I can do it on my own....and in that pain, that searing pain ...surrender .