Mark 8

If our passions are from God we can trust our passions....I think ER McManus said something like this and this morning I am pondering/wrestling with it.

My passion is wanting other people to FIND their passions. And if the above is true then it must be something accomplishable or at least worth putting all my energy behind. I have a heart for hurting women, for people who've been hurt. My passion says IF they seek YOU they will find healing for their hearts, they will discover their passions. I have a belief that the bible is a valuable tool, an actual love letter, a tangible TREASURE MAP to that discovery. And it's your treasure, He's a creative personal God who gave you a passion that is different than mine. Might be that our passions work together but this God, our amazing FATHER is creative and big enough to have given each person their very own and THAT passion is going to work to bring Him glory.... I think I am supposed to live out that belief....I wonder,ponder, wrestle with the truth in that belief.

msg vs.

34-37 Calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to saving yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you? What could you ever trade your soul for?

38"If any of you are embarrassed over me and the way I'm leading you when you get around your fickle and unfocused friends, know that you'll be an even greater embarrassment to the Son of Man when he arrives in all the splendor of God, his Father, with an army of the holy angels."

I wonder, ponder, wrestle because I am not willing to follow.....I insist on like a child running ahead and You clearly say FOLLOW and what that will cost.

And in the mess of pondering comes all these emotions....

I need a friend to call me right now and tell me it’s gonna be ok...I need someone to love me even when I am weird.....I need someone to love me because I am weird...I need to cry and someone to let me.....I need to feel accepted......I need to feel valued and affirmed, like I'm not so far off track as to be worthless....
That’s what I am this morning a mess of emotions and emotions pass right? And if you called or comment to say any of what I think I need I wouldn't believe you....
And He’s saying rest in me….follow me….surrender to me....not a word speaking to what I need or maybe that IS what I need and I want the other……